Jackie Kelly would be perfect for the Chaser: Hansen

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The Chaser’s Andrew Hansen says retiring Liberal MP Jackie Kelly would be “absolutely perfect? for a role on the ABC comedy program. I spoke to him, and this is what he said.

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These People Vote

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I used to support compulsory voting.  That is until I went out with a camera crew and asked people what the big issues of the election were.  They were amazingly uninformed, phenomenally uninformed, they were uninformed at a world class standard.  Take a look at the irrefutable video evidence…and remember these people are deciding your future.

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We Need Losers

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Ok so I’m going to say it – we need more losers. We need them in every aspect of life, in all parts of our society and in all levels of industry.  And most importantly we need boring losers in the world of politics.  Because the last person you want as Prime Minister is a passionate leader infected with fresh ideas and dynamic energy.  May I go on?

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Who’s afraid of the Union bogeyman?

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Howard wants us to believe unions will stop the sun coming up if he loses. But the reality is most people under 40 can’t remember anything unions have done – and if they can it’s positive. This little story has a kinda cool video piece with it – have a look here.

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You’re better off ‘cos we’re screwing you

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You’ve got to love how much of a lying weasel John Howard is when he talks about WorkChoices. He wants to have it both ways. He tells us WorkChoices is good for us because we can negotiate a better outcome for ourselves and on behalf of our kids. But then he trys to tell us he’s keeping inflation and interest rates low because WorkChoices is keeping ‘wages under control’. So which is it? Is it leading to people getting paid more, or is it leading to people getting paid less? I’ll tell you.

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An Open Letter To Kevin Rudd

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I’ve spent the last few weeks holding my breath.  Because we’re so close to tipping out this Government…to getting rid of those extreme WorkChoices laws, to stopping money flowing from public schools to the richest private ones, to getting out troops out of that ridiculous war in Iraq, and to getting moving on doing something about the environment – and that doesn’t mean building nuclear power stations across the nation like Howard thinks it does.  I’ve written an open letter to Kevin with a little advise on how to keep it together at this crucial stage…have a look here.

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Chaser could sue Seven for assault, wrongful imprisonment

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Just had a chat with my Chaser mate, Andrew Hansen, where he describes what happened at Channel Seven yesterday.  The boys have not ruled out suing the network after being shoved, threatened and then detained by Today Tonight staff.  Have a listen by clicking here.

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Election 07: My Guide To Faking It

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It’s election time, so we all have to read the newspaper and pretend to know what we’re talking about when it comes to politics. Luckily I’ve done the hard work for you! Here is my definitive guide to bluffing your way through those irritating conversations we’ll all be having for the next fortnight at pubs and dinner parties across the nation.

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Timmy At The ARIA’s

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So I went along with a camera crew to the ARIA’s the other week…wow…so many artists…so many hangers on. Anyway, I asked the big names who’d they’d be voting for at the election (check it out) and of course some musicy questions (check it out). I also asked all the Idols about that Hillsong stuff. We were on the red carpet for about three hours so I also got some funny bloopers

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Looking Beyond The Nudity

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Of course Big Brother’s Adult’s Only should make a come back.  Nudity and other titillation aside it was a unique look into the characters of the Housemates and of course into the human condition (I know that sounds wanky but I don’t know how else to put it).  The subject matter was no worse than contained in discussions we all have down the pub or at a dinner party.  It was just axed to suck up to ultra conservative wowsers who held the balance of power in the Senate.  I’ve written a piece on it, for which this blurb is kind of an extremely benign advertisement, you can read it here.

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What Happens To Fallen Idols?

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It worries me sometimes the relish with which TV Networks, Reality TV show producers, and the media slice and dice Australain Idol and Big Brother participants. The Networks and the producers of these shows make millions out of these kids and then, at times, simply throw them to the wolves – the latest example is Tarisai Vushe. I’ve penned a piece on it, it’s over at LIVENEWS.com.au if you’d care to have a look – click here.

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Win or Lose, Maxine’s On Que

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I only just realised the other day that Maxine McKew will definitely get in in Bennelong. How do I know this? Well because…well you’ll have to read my article on the subject to find out.

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Political Freaks Welcome

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You know that dude who just got dumped as a candidate for Family First because images emerged of him taking pictures of his tackle in a mirror? Well I knew him…well vaguely…not well enough that I have a photo with him or anything (boom, boom) but well enough to give you a little insight…here’s a link to my piece.

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Meet Australia’s Craziest Pollies

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So I’ve written this piece I reckon you’ll like. It’s about Australia’s craziest politicians. We’ve had all sorts…murderers, philanderers, thugs, and Pauline Hanson. There’s so many to choose from, in Western Australia the current Liberal Opposition leader shot his son…that’s right he shot his son…want to know more? Well go to my piece on the subject at LIVENEWS.com.au….it’s here.

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Bring Out Your Dead

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Doesn’t everyone realise John Howard is 70? He’ll be dead in 15 years. Do we really want him setting the agenda from beyond the grave? I mean even High Court judges have to retire at 70.

He’s shafted young people by defunding Universities and removing Student Organisations. He’s stiffed kids with WorkChoices – wiping out penalty rates and other conditions. And he’s denied global warming – something we’ll have to live with long after he’s rotting in a box.

All I’m saying is Vote 1 Howard, we Ozzies love a gamble.

Opinion Machine

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So I needed an outlet for my opinion. ‘But you’ve already got one, you’re writing on it right now’, I hear you say. Yeah but I mean one that get’s me paid. So I’m doling out conjecture and controversy for a website called LIVENEWS.com.au

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Do go and have a sqiz, here’s a direct link to the opinion page – you’re bound to see some of my stuff there.

Am I The New Hunter S?

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I’m currently trying to write a new entry on my website. Except my flatmate’s girlfriend Amy is in my room and it’s Friday and it’s seven pm and I want a beer and a pancake, or maybe some Indian. She’s not letting me concentrate so I’m turning this into an existentialist web post – one that Satre would be proud of, I kind of mini Nausea if you will. Anyway Amy is whinging about how I didn’t agree to be in her meta ironic feminist play, playing a male character who is bound and gagged. I was worried such a role would not extend me artistically.

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She’s lying on my bed bored but in that blissed out state only those in their late 20’s and beyond can know where you are just so damned happy to not be working even lying aimlessly on a friend’s bed can be the funniest thing you’ve done in a week.

Now she’s pulling out eyelashes and objecting to the fact I didn’t fully describe the male character in her play accurately as a wife bashing music critic. I made the mistake of reading what you are reading back to her.

Is this the least bit interesting?

Did Hunter S, really make a living from writing like this?

Timbo At RockinForRights

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Of course you believe John Howard’s WorkChoices legislation is bad for working families. What’s more you can see it just doesn’t make economic sense. I mean just read today’s Herald.

So? Well, get yourself to Sydney on Sunday the 22nd of April for a rally and a concert called RockinForRights to see off these destructive laws.

After a march from Hyde Park North at 11am we’ll assemble at the SCG to listen to Ozie rock greats like You Am I, Missy Higgins, The Screaming Jets and heaps of others. And have a cheeky beer or two.

I’ll be MCing part of the day with Charles Firth another Chaser writer.

Want a preview? Check out what Andrew Hansen and I did at the Queensland Unions RockTheVote event

You must come. Cos it’s not just the ‘Liberals’ we need to keep in line.

See you there!

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