Cock flashing, toilet sex and domestic violence

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It’s here! The episode you’ve been waiting for.  The one with footage of the infamous 2006 Turkey Slap.  The one that talks about Axel Whitehead’s penis flash at the ARIA’s and the allegations that Matthew Newton ruffed up his girlfriend.  Can celebrities recover from such stories?  Well find out tomorrow night on Dare I Ask? – be watching. (Dare I Ask? goes to air at 9.30pm on Sydney’s TVS on Tuesday the 21st – you can also watch it on the web at that time anywhere in Oz by clicking here.)

Jews getting belted is not the real story

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Will the Zionists get a bad rap at the UN’s anti-racism conference starting today in Geneva? Will the anti-racism conference be racist? Will Muslim countries gang up on Israel? Should Australia go and argue the case rather than wimp out completely, as Foreign Minister Stephen Smith did this morning? Indeed, these are important questions. But the problem is they all miss the real point: Given the uproar, this must be the first conference at the UN that has actually mattered on any level – ever. Click HERE to read on.

Turkey Slappers meet a pantsless Todd McKenney

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What do celebrities do when they hit a scandal?  How come Axel Whitehead and Matthew Newton are flying high while Candice Falzon and Tania Zaetta are still seen as slappers?  Well last night on Dare I Ask? we found the answers with Big Brother Turkey Slapper Michael Bric, celebrity PR guru Max Markson and ABC Media Watch’s Jonathan Holmes getting feisty.  It is a cracker episode.  Seriously be sure to watch it on Tuesday the 21st of April at 9.30pm on TVS.  (Those not in Sydney can watch it at 9.30 on the web here.)

Coke’s lies stripped bare

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It’s not often you get to crow about a victory. When Coca-Cola ran their stupid ‘myth-busting’ campaign last October I wrote about how deceptive, stupid and embarrassing they were. They claimed it was a myth Coke made you fat, rotted your teeth and was packed with caffeine. Campaign spokeswoman Kerry Armstrong said her boys now call her “Mum the Myth buster”.  After the ACCC’s finding against the ads today one assumes now they call her “Mum the liar” instead. Click HERE to read on.

Logies hysteria grips Nation

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That’s right, it’s that time of year again.  The Logies. That big award ceremony where nobody quite understands who’s up for what and how who wins is quite decided has arrived.  Underbelly, Packed To The Rafters and some dull but worthy SBS shows you’ve never heard of are up for awards. Sadly I won’t be making it to Melbourne for the ceremony but I did make it Fox Studios this week to catch the nominations.  Have a squiz at the video.

Show Bikies their own Underbelly

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People love Underbelly.  People love Gangs of Oz.  But people hate bikies beating each other to death in airports. Is that fair?  After all these guys watch TV too.  And what are they supposed to think when the nation can’t get enough of stories of home-grown crime? Naturally they feel left out, snubbed even.  They need us to know they’re tough too. Clearly Premier Rees should, instead of allocating another 75 cops to the gang squad, simply commission a mini-series? I don’t know about you but I’d happily watch a six-episode program which… click HERE to read on.

Hitting record on Dare I Ask?

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First show of 2009 rolls off the presses tonight with the Schweppevescent Tilly Boleyn in the hosting chair. I watched it being made last week – it’s on youth subcultures. I’m not sure if any subculture uses this word anymore but it was rad. Filmed my first show last night – on prisons.  Interesting stuff. It’ll be up next Tuesday. Make sure you watch tonight’s – on TVS at 9.30pm. You can even stream it from the website then.

Hacking into flatemates on air

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Hack’s host Kate O’Toole called me the other day and wanted to talk sharehousing.  Specifically; horror stories.  Like when I came home a few weeks ago to find two of my housemates cutting up hallucinogenic San Pedro cactus in the kitchen.  Or when years ago a huge piece of ceiling fell down on me when I was sleeping.  Or when I had a vegemite swastika smeared on my door.  Or when my flatmates screwed a smoke detector under my bed.  Actually, when I went on the show it was more just sharehousing tips.  Have a listen here.  Or read The Chaser piece I wrote years ago about sharehousing.

Bring the biff back to cinemas

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What exactly were the lily-livered hochos at Greater Union worried about when they pulled The Combination from four Sydney cinemas yesterday? They’re claiming it was because a security guard at one of their picture theatres got roughed-up after asking someone not to smoke. But forgive my ignorance – isn’t that what security guards are for? What are they worried is going to happen in future – that some crazed punters are going to scald the projectionist with steaming hot popcorn? That a movie goer will rush one of their ushers with the broken end of a choc top? I’d like to meet anyone…click HERE to read on.

Willoughby girls have alot to teach

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So I went and gave a speech to the year 11’s at Willoughby girls yesterday.  And they were great.  Smart, bright eyed and eager.  But though I suppose I was there to teach I actually learnt something. In fact two things.  The first is that it’s really really hard to find a boys toilet in a girls school.  The second is that if there is no soap in a toilet, but there is a slightly rusty can of Glen 20, don’t be tempted to spray your hands with Glen 20.

Sue Morphet: Worth every penny

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The usual suspects have been slamming undies boss Sue Morphet for tripling her annual pay from $685,775 – to almost $1.9 million a mere eight months ago. They’ve also bagged the company’s board, whose 13 directors just upped their collective pay from $7 million to $15.5 million. Callously these professional whingers, (read unions, newspapers, Labor politicians and other bed-wetting lefties) have then linked this pay rise to this week’s announcement management have sacked 1850 workers.  Click HERE to read on.

Boobs! And other things you can’t say

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According to Choice magazine today cosmetic surgeons make women’s orbs bigger so they will be more attractive to blokes. So you can imagine the disturbance this bombshell has caused. Apparently the super sleuths at Choice sent three women to 30 cosmetic surgery clinics in Sydney and Brisbane to ask about liposuction, breast augmentation and Botox. And the big revelation? One doctor made the outrageous claim that… click HERE to read on.

If politicians were dogs…

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Julia Gillard has started a whole new game with her comments about Christopher Pyne being a poodle.  This is how it works.  Basically you pick a pollie and then compare them to a dog and then see what it adds up to. (Note: It adds up to hilarity.)  Let’s start with Penny Wong…click HERE to read on…

Is Reality TV coaching cheating?

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The piece I wrote last week about how I coached Ladette to Lady contestant Sarah Brunton sure got some reaction.  I even got a call from a bunch of radio stations across the country wanting me to chat about it. And to be honest the response has been mixed.  Some think it’s a laugh, others think it’s about time a contestant played the same game as the producers.  And some thought it outright… click HERE to read on.

My second crack at Reality TV

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So you’ve seen the first episodes of Aussie Ladette to Lady. Chicks spewing in buckets, flashing their bums and pissing next to the road like a bunch of footballers on a trip to the Gold Coast. But to be honest not much actually surprised me. That’s cos I’ve kind of had a behind the scenes look at the show already. I was coaching one of the girls months before the show even began filming. In fact, we watched last night’s episode of the show at my house last night. But how could that come to pass? Well, about six months ago a young electrician I’d written a profile on for the Electrical Trades Union magazine years ago sent me an email… click HERE to read on.

Stop sticking up for Julie Bishop

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Bloggers and armchair experts across the nation have fallen over each other today to say what a brave person Shadow Treasurer Julie Bishop was by falling on her sword. Her sympathisers make all kinds of excuses for her poor performance.They say she’s simply one of many coalition frontbenchers not to have made much of an impact… click HERE to continue.

How to get bullied at school

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I spent my high school years trying to avoid being beaten up. It’s quite an art and takes a lot of personal sacrifice. I gave up the violin, brought my soccer ball every day, dropped out of the debating team, smoked in the student carpark and was suitably contemptuous of my teachers. But kids these days don’t seem to have any respect for the basic age old rules. Case in point is McKay Hatch, a 15-year-old from the US who has started a “No Cussing Club” and… click HERE to read on and to WATCH the video.

Do you dare to watch my new TV show?

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As youth ambassador for the Wayside Chapel I’m used to hosting firey community debates.  So my new panel show Dare I Ask? is going to be a great opportunity to bring the fun of a bit of verbal argy bargy to the whole of Sydney. In previous episodes we’ve discussed everything from dope to genital piercings, from graffiti to whether Christmas is actually satanic… so you’re getting the picture that it’s pretty out there I bet.  Tune in starting March.  It’s on TVS and is a great community based project all done by volunteers so why not come in and be part of it? Click HERE to visit the website.

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